Thursday, August 11, 2011

Flair and Chuck Norris

Yes, work is getting in the way of training and racing. Therefore now is my opportunity to work harder at this blog. Today's issue: flair and quotes. Here's some of the better flair I've seen today. (I do not hold the copyrights to these images or quotes but want to share them with the community.)

Cafe Press

Cafe Press

And the mother of all quote sites has a special meaning to me. In college I nominated myself to be the Chuck Norris quote reader during my sorority's weekly meetings. Gawd it was fun. Borrowed from this site, I bring you these:
  • Chuck Norris can volunteer at a triathlon and still win it.
  • You know what Chuck Norris puts in his Fuel Belt? Fuel.
  • Chuck Norris didn’t get an Ironman tattoo; Ironman got a tattoo of Chuck Norris.
  • Chuck Norris tested his VO2 max. We all suffocated.
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t need a wetsuit because water gets out of his way.
  • If Chuck Norris got a flat on the bike, he would take yours.
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t need a razor to shave his legs. Just has to flex.
  • A Chuck Norris triathlon is Round, House, Kick.
  • During the post-Ironman interview, Chuck Norris responded with, “What race?”
  • Chuck Norris is allowed to buy “Finisher” merchandise before the race.
  • Chuck Norris doesn't wear a timing chip on his ankle. Once the race is over HE decides what his time should be.
  • Chuck Norris doesn't train for triathlons. Triathlons train for Chuck Norris.
  • Had Chuck Norris been present the day they coined the term "Ironman", our full distance triathlons would be called "Chuck Norris Recovery Days" instead.
And the others...
  • "There are clubs you don't belong to, schools you can't attend, neighborhoods you can't live in, but the trails are always open."
  • "Pain is temporary. It may last for a minute, or an hour, or a day or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever." Lance Armstrong
This is my ultimate triathlon quote, and is the signature of my emails:

Swim like there is no bike. Bike like there is no run. Run like you stole something. 

Any other endurance or triathlon quotes to share with the group?

I'm No Ironman, but I Still Tri.

P.S. I couldn't leave the real Chuck Norris facts off this post. Enjoy. Most of these, courtesy of this and this site.

  • Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
  • They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
  • Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
  • When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
  • Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
  • Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.
  • Chuck Norris can speak French... In Russian.
  • Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.
  • Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
  • Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
  • There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
  • Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.

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